The Talk: When It’s Time to Talk to Your Parents About Lifestyle, Help, and the Future

There comes a moment — and often, it’s not a dramatic one — when you feel it in your gut: We need to talk to Mom. Or Dad. Or both. It might be about their health. Their home. Their finances. Their future. And even when it’s coming from love, these conversations can feel like walking through an emotional minefield.

So the question is:

Should you talk to your siblings first? Or go straight to your parents?

Let me tell you — talk to your siblings first.

In fact, that part is vital.

Here’s why…

Family is Love. But It’s Also a Business.

Helping our aging parents navigate their later years — whether it’s decisions about living arrangements, medical care, or legacy planning — is a sacred responsibility. But it’s also a practical one. We’re talking about wills, powers of attorney, property, long-term care, and financial planning. That’s business. And when families don’t treat it that way — with structure, communication, and clarity — things fall apart.

Talking to your siblings first isn’t about forming a coalition against your parents. It’s about forming a united front of care. So when the moment comes to bring concerns or plans to the table, it’s not one child showing up with “a great idea” that’s met with resistance. It’s the family showing up with love, clarity, and a shared understanding.

The Role Reversal Is Real

It’s wild how the roles begin to reverse as time goes on.

When we’re raising our children, we work hard to be coherent, present, and intentional. And whether we realize it or not, our children are watching. One day, they’ll be the ones having these same conversations — but with us. They’ll be making decisions about our care, our homes, our end-of-life wishes. And the way we move through this season with our own parents teaches them how to show up when it’s their turn.

My hope is that this blog isn’t just a reflection, but a gentle nudge — an invitation for you and your partner to begin that conversation with one another first. 

Start planning together, early and openly, so that when the time comes, your children aren’t left scrambling. They’ll already have a foundation to stand on.

Because these conversations aren’t just about preparing for aging — they’re about normalizing preparation itself. Life is cyclical. And when we talk about it with grace and courage, we remove the fear and replace it with something far better: love, clarity, and peace.

Start Before You Think You Need To

These conversations don’t need to wait until your parent gets sick or starts forgetting things. In fact, they shouldn’t. When everyone is healthy and well, these topics can be approached with clarity and logic — not in a crisis.

In my own home, we’ve already laid the groundwork. My husband and I have assigned durable power of attorney to both of our sons — one for finances, one for medical. Our oldest son owns a home, so we’ve even had conversations about his estate in the event something happens to him.

We’ve made the decisions. We’ve signed the documents. And most importantly, we’ve had the conversations.

Let Me Tell You About My Mom…

I am the durable power of attorney for my mom. I also have her medical power of attorney. Thankfully, we had a will drafted — but in the middle of our family move, we didn’t have the power of attorney fully executed.

And then… everything changed.

She fell critically ill. She was in a coma. And we hadn’t finalized the paperwork.

By the grace of God, she came out of that coma, and we were able to execute the documents in time. But it could’ve gone very differently. If we didn’t have her will in hand, if we hadn’t gotten the power of attorney signed — we could’ve been thrown into legal chaos. Probate. Family strain. Confusion. Stress.

I’m sharing this because I want to spare you from learning the hard way. These conversations matter. The paperwork matters. And it needs to happen before it’s too late.

Normalize the Talk — Make It a Rhythm, Not a Crisis

We regularly talk to our kids about their future — college, money, faith, friendships. Let’s extend that same care to conversations with our parents. It doesn’t have to be a dreaded sit-down. It can simply be a check-in — a moment of clarity, connection, and preparation.

Because at the end of the day, having a plan isn’t morbid — it’s merciful. I love the word legacy. When we view these conversations through the lens of legacy, it shifts everything. It becomes less about endings and more about honoring the life, love, and wisdom that shape what we leave behind.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

This is just the beginning. In our Senior Survival series here at LoveM0M, we’ll explore what these conversations can look like — and how to have them with compassion and clarity. We’ll talk about estate planning, living arrangements, long-term care, and more.

I’d love to hear from you:

Have you had “the talk” with your parents yet?

What did you learn — or what’s holding you back?

And how are you and your siblings navigating this season together (or not)?

Let’s be a village for one another.

Because family is love — and it’s business too.

LoveM0M,

Davindia